Works going on fine, its a day to day fluctuation at times I think ill go bloody crazy at other times i think im riding High. WEll whatever the occasion im pretty sure Insanity is a permanent companion to me.
The regular day starts with me comin in enthusiastically to the office, probably with three hours of sleep and millions of cups of coffee , what else do u expect (just Kiddin) I think i should rewind a bit
Ok so here we go yaa the day starts with the water coming in the mornin, well theres a bit of shortage in this area so the water comesa only for some hour or so ant that too at 6 bloody 45 Screwed so any way thats the way it goes, my work is normally to shut the taps as ileave them open just in case i dont get up. Yaa so then there is the maid comin in , well god knows what she does i mean wash clothes , clean the house and even do the moppin all in 15 minutes, either shes superwoman or im indifferent , lets just leave it like that. So while she sleeps i get my bit of winks , she leaves and screams ho gaya, at times i really wonder kya hua. but anyway then theres the drunken walk to the door to shut it.
Then theres the nice cup of coffee which however contains cold milk , but anyway early in the mornin it feels good. Well then theres the rush to the office. Somehow always ,manage to be the first one in.
Ya now we join back in the regular day starts with me comin in enthusiastically to the office, Well somehow the spirits are high in the mornin, work is good, cofee break at 10:30 maybe 30 minutes or so, nonstop swigs at the ciggarette as it was my last cigarrette. It feels good after the two long hours of prespiration of sloggin ur ass off and may be at times a bit of frustration , what ever it may be it feels good.
Then theres the continuous run till bout 3-4 by which time the bodies gettin tired and the brain stops working, well the work for the day is done and its actuaaly the time to go back home thats wat the body clock says not the office clock.
Well so u take a quick lunch followed by some stupid decisions as ur not functionin with ur marbles then u wait for others to respond by that time u take ur time out to recoop, well by the time u start functionin again is the time u gotta leave.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Inspiration
Inspiration is a strange thing I saw a blog today, the author was deranged or rather hopelessly heart broken but he wrote beautifully , this goes to him though he may never read it id rather that he didn't.
Its strange something clicked not the apathy or the frustration but rather the complicated simplicity of the writing. His life though I judge him only by a few words was in a state of tumult, a tumult which existed in calm. The whole storm enraged inside of him and probably sent him into throes of depression.
Well enough of him now that's jut the background, id rather not try describing him, for I myself don't know him. But what appealed to me was the way he wrote. Something that I feel I had forgotten .
Emotions and intellect is a deadly mix, I know its not really logical to combine the two, but I think he had both, and that's what made him good. All people who've made a difference have had both only the emotion was different . Rationality and intellect are too cold a combination to result in good writing, unless someone was writing a technical instructions manual. Well these are certain rules that were brought into my conscience.
Its when the emotions are on high that the internal security system is on vacation. And that's when u say what u really wanna say. A few of us are born, (maybe all of us ) with the internal defense on low, and then we endure live and socialisation, have a few experiences or learn from others to bring in the firewall, and that's the end of freedom , the freedom of thought , speech and action.
Look at me for instance, work has made me into something that I cant even recognize, and the worst of it all this all happened without my realization. The problem if it was only limited to work was ok with me , but it spills into my private space too. In to my writing , into my thinking and into my action.
Anonymity too isn't adequate for the isecurity to be stifled. The writing is dishonest and with time if the disease isn't checked would become ugly even to me, and then probably all that is left would die.
Naked is the only way to be the only acceptable dress code, clothes will suffocate all that exists and then nothing would remain except for a carcass which lives to die every day. I would advice you not to take this analog in its direct sense or ud be in a mental asylum sooner than u think. Well so from today I shed my clothes atleast for myself, and write for myself.
this space is now for madmen only, for to enter my world you have to loose urs.
Thanks to my friend Pinks u didn't even realize it but u made me think again .
Its strange something clicked not the apathy or the frustration but rather the complicated simplicity of the writing. His life though I judge him only by a few words was in a state of tumult, a tumult which existed in calm. The whole storm enraged inside of him and probably sent him into throes of depression.
Well enough of him now that's jut the background, id rather not try describing him, for I myself don't know him. But what appealed to me was the way he wrote. Something that I feel I had forgotten .
Emotions and intellect is a deadly mix, I know its not really logical to combine the two, but I think he had both, and that's what made him good. All people who've made a difference have had both only the emotion was different . Rationality and intellect are too cold a combination to result in good writing, unless someone was writing a technical instructions manual. Well these are certain rules that were brought into my conscience.
Its when the emotions are on high that the internal security system is on vacation. And that's when u say what u really wanna say. A few of us are born, (maybe all of us ) with the internal defense on low, and then we endure live and socialisation, have a few experiences or learn from others to bring in the firewall, and that's the end of freedom , the freedom of thought , speech and action.
Look at me for instance, work has made me into something that I cant even recognize, and the worst of it all this all happened without my realization. The problem if it was only limited to work was ok with me , but it spills into my private space too. In to my writing , into my thinking and into my action.
Anonymity too isn't adequate for the isecurity to be stifled. The writing is dishonest and with time if the disease isn't checked would become ugly even to me, and then probably all that is left would die.
Naked is the only way to be the only acceptable dress code, clothes will suffocate all that exists and then nothing would remain except for a carcass which lives to die every day. I would advice you not to take this analog in its direct sense or ud be in a mental asylum sooner than u think. Well so from today I shed my clothes atleast for myself, and write for myself.
this space is now for madmen only, for to enter my world you have to loose urs.
Thanks to my friend Pinks u didn't even realize it but u made me think again .
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Changing Perspectives Part two (Perfection)
Its been long I know, and if u procastinate the works not done , so I guess its too late to finish the changing perspectives post as my perspectives have changed yet once again.
life's a funny game, I mean it just keeps on changing, as u all probably know by now Im into reading strange insane books only, well in one of the books I read it said change is inevitable, well it is and though we all look for that perfectly stable life , if it were like that it would be damn darn boring. Actually the concept was that change is perfect and that's the way IZ ( GOD) wanted it. I don't really care I think I like it that way.
Well for those of u who do read this stuff I write , well mind ur own business. Just kidding, well id liked to let u know that my sister is finally married, I know u don't really care. Well neither do I its just that I care bout How it affects me, well practically speakin things haven't really changed they r in UK as was before,Ill probably meet her once an year as it was b4 , we will probably talk on the phone or SMS each other once in two months that also when Im in dire need of money, things haven't changed, well almost the only thing that has changed is her surname now its something that I can't even remember and which even if I did remember I would end up mispronouncing. Well I wonder then y it feels so strange and different. Well I guess that's in the ream of irrational thinking, but then human is irrational , after all the most important and overbearing act (ever committed by a human)of falling in love itself is quite irrational., And tell me which human being at some point in his / her life hasn't faltered.
Well I guess that's changing perspective for . And in the end its all perfect is it not. I think that's the way we are always meant to be a bit confused , I mean I know Im a supreme being and all yet I aint GOD (yet that is) and its perfect that way.
life's a funny game, I mean it just keeps on changing, as u all probably know by now Im into reading strange insane books only, well in one of the books I read it said change is inevitable, well it is and though we all look for that perfectly stable life , if it were like that it would be damn darn boring. Actually the concept was that change is perfect and that's the way IZ ( GOD) wanted it. I don't really care I think I like it that way.
Well for those of u who do read this stuff I write , well mind ur own business. Just kidding, well id liked to let u know that my sister is finally married, I know u don't really care. Well neither do I its just that I care bout How it affects me, well practically speakin things haven't really changed they r in UK as was before,Ill probably meet her once an year as it was b4 , we will probably talk on the phone or SMS each other once in two months that also when Im in dire need of money, things haven't changed, well almost the only thing that has changed is her surname now its something that I can't even remember and which even if I did remember I would end up mispronouncing. Well I wonder then y it feels so strange and different. Well I guess that's in the ream of irrational thinking, but then human is irrational , after all the most important and overbearing act (ever committed by a human)of falling in love itself is quite irrational., And tell me which human being at some point in his / her life hasn't faltered.
Well I guess that's changing perspective for . And in the end its all perfect is it not. I think that's the way we are always meant to be a bit confused , I mean I know Im a supreme being and all yet I aint GOD (yet that is) and its perfect that way.
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