ORDER IN CHAOS

Well I know I said in my last mail that I need to maintain this blog to survive and I know its been ages since I typed in last or does it just seem like its been ages. Well now that I have a comp of my own most of my writing is stored in it. But since like everything else IM too busy to get a net connection that's where its gonna remain.

But I think its just not an innate need to write which drives me to the blog but rather a need to be read. Well I told you before I was an exhibitionist so I stick with the theme. Atleast in all this mumble - jumble there is some pattern. An order in chaos wonderful.

Well that's how life is. I always manage to see it the order in chaos , but the sad part is not every one does or this world would be different , I don't want it to be any different from what it is because that's the way I like it.

WE do our daily chores of living , struggling not lookin at the sun
or the moon, unconscious of our existence that's why we never see the order . Sometimes you miss out on things because they are too small at other times u miss out because the things are too large for your current perspective. The second one is what applies to the object of this discussion . We are so buisy looking at the details that we miss out on the whole.. Its like a journey we r looking at everything so minisculely that we forget to put it in the right context the background. A petal when looked under a microscope can be plain down right ugly, but when u place it in the right perspective the flower the plant he earth the sky the water the sunset, well that's beauty.

I remember when I was doin my pg , a beautiful butterfly on this really ugly bush , I took a snap , but now that I look back at it its not as great as I had felt it . You could not catch the beauty in a camera . I cant relate with the image anymore, id rather not have clicked because now the memory too of it is spoilt.

Well though the bush and the butterfly were in front of our coffee kiosik, and there were a million people around with millions of sounds it was beautiful

Ill leave it here gotta go for lunch chow.

Existence

A study in existentiality right thats how all of this began, thats what it was meant to be, well its almost been a year of this dreary existence, and yet it contuinues . The writing ofcourse was a secondary innovation to make life better rather id say things have become worse its one more thing that is to be done to survive now. Either that or die its a necessity.

Well so im back again , Busier finding time that too just a few minutes to jot something dowen before its lost in the dungeons of yersterday like the rest ogf my life , well just bout.

I think now even yesterday is not as glorious as it was at one time with the passage of time its lost its sheen its glory. So now im really confused as to wat i am existing for. Is it just for the fact that a man is suppose to survive earn his beread, and eat it till one day his will to survive decays as his body has already done, or is there a higher purpose to life?????