I have been fairly unhappy sitting here for the past two - three days, I dont really thik its the work , or the idea of the work im doing but rather under whom im doing it. I thnk this is something very particular about me that i tend to form impressions and no matter how hard i try to erase them they just seem to haunt me.
Well its ok if an imbessile works under you but , when hes your boss its an entirely different equation , things probably that i still need to work on to acheive greatness.
Well it was fine till the day an idea struck me the idea that generated another like it , till the whole mechanical cogs in my brain were working full time to device a stratergy to reach out to the corporates and to increase business from it . Well some ideas are similar in nature however its the delivery which counts for them. and I came out with a very good way to probably deliver this, however in its representation to the super boss i suddenly realised that my name from it had been very conveniently disected from the idea. And while this idea was being delivered i was present in the same bloody room .
Abnd now i wonder which one is worse the Idea of Generating that Idea and that idea being stolen and being diassociated from me, or the idea of not coming up with any more ideas for fear of them being hijacked midway. Becase in the past two weeks i have faced immense dissatisfaction with even the idea of working under someone who dose this. But then another truth is that i have heard of corporate stories much worse , i have faught these deamons before , I know the valuer I bring and the rest of the self gayaan. But my communication with the boss for certain is not happening anymore , and well i am not generating ideas, augumenting them nor really doing any realtime work , and i wonder.
Anyways till this clears im really confused.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Training young Minds
The rooms filled with chairs about sixty of them , the class is being held in the basement of an old Hospital , the rooms got nothing else but the sixty chairs, one table a computer infested with viruses and a Projector , projecting vauge presentations on the wall.
The Coridoor outside the classroom is filled with 20 somethings , coming from various walks of life, as far away as the northeast and delhi, confused , yet ambitious. There is a buzz in the air, while i sip my cup of cofee with the Principal , discussing curicculum and my almost horrifically scandalizing views on Modern day teaching.
Theres no bell which rings , im saddned by the affairs for these students , I have seen them come to my Hospital for internships, Knowledge absolutely negligeble and believe me we only take their cream. And I wonder what we are coming to when we just kep on filling these seats year after year boasting our laurells on individual competencies. I remember my classes on marketing when i was astudent, and i realise that i dont remember anything except for a nurse feeding your baby being Customer Delight, was i any better off? No wonder i find it conforting to know that one of the tachers here with a very horribly south indian accent is an old friend of the teacher with the horible southindian accent who taught me.
Anyways so class begins and I walk in and i hear hushes and everybody moving in, i stand there while people get comfortable and i wonder my first bloody class. Im not nervous really I have prepared wel, agreed not formal education as such but experience has taught me enough to give this lecture. Actualy I have met this class before on their institutional visit to the Hospital , atleast most of hem and i know that i have scandalized them with my agressive and slightly honest presentation. But the class begins highly structured , the examples are great and by he time the class finishes i realise that i have been out ther speaking for just over thre hours. Man thats long , but i realy didnt know how it passed. I come out excited , ignited as i see that i might have igbnited a few thiughts , I am basically substituting for my boss who was supose to take these classes. i take two of them , and i know this is addictive. But before i can go ahead and make a commitment in terms of my time to the management ( who ofcourse are dying to see someone from the corporate world actually teaching there students). Anyway its simple for me i administer a feedback form , the answer would be given ony once i have had a feedback of the lasrt two classes. I come out with flying colors. collectively about 2-3% students think i suck , 60% think im average and meeting their expectations , 30% think im above average and 7-8 % think im god. I think i might change some of their opinions over a period of time.
And now im realy serious about it , not to the maters in the [resentation but to the activity which folows it i so badly wish i had 20 days with them , I would have made them players, sadly enough i gotta do this in bout 8 classs lets see how it goes, but man its a rush , and i think the management is rely excited to see someone from the industry teach in such an exciting and engaging manner . Im taking Stratergic Management next semester god help them .
Ps Im also thinking of writing to TISS to ask them if they could arrange for agressive three day sessions that i could take there, I wonder how that would work . Lets see , well if im going to Mumbai ill for sure take it uip atleast one class i think ill force myself through their gates , and i might be going to Mujmbai for a Marketing meet soon.
The Coridoor outside the classroom is filled with 20 somethings , coming from various walks of life, as far away as the northeast and delhi, confused , yet ambitious. There is a buzz in the air, while i sip my cup of cofee with the Principal , discussing curicculum and my almost horrifically scandalizing views on Modern day teaching.
Theres no bell which rings , im saddned by the affairs for these students , I have seen them come to my Hospital for internships, Knowledge absolutely negligeble and believe me we only take their cream. And I wonder what we are coming to when we just kep on filling these seats year after year boasting our laurells on individual competencies. I remember my classes on marketing when i was astudent, and i realise that i dont remember anything except for a nurse feeding your baby being Customer Delight, was i any better off? No wonder i find it conforting to know that one of the tachers here with a very horribly south indian accent is an old friend of the teacher with the horible southindian accent who taught me.
Anyways so class begins and I walk in and i hear hushes and everybody moving in, i stand there while people get comfortable and i wonder my first bloody class. Im not nervous really I have prepared wel, agreed not formal education as such but experience has taught me enough to give this lecture. Actualy I have met this class before on their institutional visit to the Hospital , atleast most of hem and i know that i have scandalized them with my agressive and slightly honest presentation. But the class begins highly structured , the examples are great and by he time the class finishes i realise that i have been out ther speaking for just over thre hours. Man thats long , but i realy didnt know how it passed. I come out excited , ignited as i see that i might have igbnited a few thiughts , I am basically substituting for my boss who was supose to take these classes. i take two of them , and i know this is addictive. But before i can go ahead and make a commitment in terms of my time to the management ( who ofcourse are dying to see someone from the corporate world actually teaching there students). Anyway its simple for me i administer a feedback form , the answer would be given ony once i have had a feedback of the lasrt two classes. I come out with flying colors. collectively about 2-3% students think i suck , 60% think im average and meeting their expectations , 30% think im above average and 7-8 % think im god. I think i might change some of their opinions over a period of time.
And now im realy serious about it , not to the maters in the [resentation but to the activity which folows it i so badly wish i had 20 days with them , I would have made them players, sadly enough i gotta do this in bout 8 classs lets see how it goes, but man its a rush , and i think the management is rely excited to see someone from the industry teach in such an exciting and engaging manner . Im taking Stratergic Management next semester god help them .
Ps Im also thinking of writing to TISS to ask them if they could arrange for agressive three day sessions that i could take there, I wonder how that would work . Lets see , well if im going to Mumbai ill for sure take it uip atleast one class i think ill force myself through their gates , and i might be going to Mujmbai for a Marketing meet soon.
Sunday, November 09, 2008
learn it Firo - B
These have been good days , there seems to be some sort of order to life , for how long though that's not sure. The gyms there though not as regularly as id like it to be, but I'm not complaining. The works fine interesting workshop happened which of course now is over, but theres the teaching bit, and then the creatives, i guess i get a chance to be more creative about it now. And well homes not really biting.
Actually i think there might have been a slight change within myself, I realised that in the rush to finish the jobs pending , the MBA stuff and all of that , i had kinda stopped taking life on. I had become a mechanical being just going through the motions of life, guess it happens to most of us .
But then this workshop was quite interesting , not that it taught me something new it just made me understand why I was behaving the way I was behaving. But anyways we will not get into the details of it , but life seems sweeter than before, and my decisions seem more mature all of a sudden.
So here are some of the basics that i knew and seem to have forgotten , or these are the new behaviours that i have imbibed which don't seem to be helping me:
1) Trust , i think i have been let down a few times ( this is completely professional), and over these small breaks in trust , i have stopped believing in people , until i really am close to them , and maybe not even that , basically crux of the story independence jindabad, but the truth is that in reality , that might not be something i want , i want more in life but i am just not asking people for it, nor allowing them to give it to me..
2) Busy - in actuality i might not be as busy as i act , its just that i like my space quite a bit and so i tend to take cover of making myself busy all the time so that i don't rally have to communicate with every one all the time.
3) Time alone- i need doses of this and again in the middle of work , i completely have stopped spending quality time with myself, this could also be because i don't really want to think too much. Also because i do tend to take on more than i can handle at one time in my plate.
4) Control - I am not a control freak , as i usually believe , in actuality i seem to be pretty good with the control thing , except for the fact that i don't like taking orders from every one , but then that ain't that bad. Its again the lack of trust which makes me brash.
5) Affection - i am a slightly cold person , now but that's not the way i was nor the way that i have to be , i guess ill get there too. Basically i guess I'm modeled somewhere or rather have modeled myself as the basic tough guy who doesn't cry and doesn't need help and doesn't show emotions etc etc, I don't really think i began like this in college , but over a period of time , works made me become like this, or rather this is the way i have decided to deal with it. More importantly i actually like quite a few people quite a bit , and for some strange reason i just cant tell them that , i think appreciation is definitely something i have to build into my system.
Ok enough for now , or id rant for the rest of my life , lets see how it works , if i can forgive the world for the injustice i think it has done to me and more importantly if i can just cut a bit on the ego.
Actually i think there might have been a slight change within myself, I realised that in the rush to finish the jobs pending , the MBA stuff and all of that , i had kinda stopped taking life on. I had become a mechanical being just going through the motions of life, guess it happens to most of us .
But then this workshop was quite interesting , not that it taught me something new it just made me understand why I was behaving the way I was behaving. But anyways we will not get into the details of it , but life seems sweeter than before, and my decisions seem more mature all of a sudden.
So here are some of the basics that i knew and seem to have forgotten , or these are the new behaviours that i have imbibed which don't seem to be helping me:
1) Trust , i think i have been let down a few times ( this is completely professional), and over these small breaks in trust , i have stopped believing in people , until i really am close to them , and maybe not even that , basically crux of the story independence jindabad, but the truth is that in reality , that might not be something i want , i want more in life but i am just not asking people for it, nor allowing them to give it to me..
2) Busy - in actuality i might not be as busy as i act , its just that i like my space quite a bit and so i tend to take cover of making myself busy all the time so that i don't rally have to communicate with every one all the time.
3) Time alone- i need doses of this and again in the middle of work , i completely have stopped spending quality time with myself, this could also be because i don't really want to think too much. Also because i do tend to take on more than i can handle at one time in my plate.
4) Control - I am not a control freak , as i usually believe , in actuality i seem to be pretty good with the control thing , except for the fact that i don't like taking orders from every one , but then that ain't that bad. Its again the lack of trust which makes me brash.
5) Affection - i am a slightly cold person , now but that's not the way i was nor the way that i have to be , i guess ill get there too. Basically i guess I'm modeled somewhere or rather have modeled myself as the basic tough guy who doesn't cry and doesn't need help and doesn't show emotions etc etc, I don't really think i began like this in college , but over a period of time , works made me become like this, or rather this is the way i have decided to deal with it. More importantly i actually like quite a few people quite a bit , and for some strange reason i just cant tell them that , i think appreciation is definitely something i have to build into my system.
Ok enough for now , or id rant for the rest of my life , lets see how it works , if i can forgive the world for the injustice i think it has done to me and more importantly if i can just cut a bit on the ego.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Just letting out
Well sitting here once again , its an office day , its been a tiresome , tedious day. A day which begins and then just does not come to an end . It s been filled wityh strange works, a little bit of branding a lot of facilitation , a lot of talk and well thats bout it. I really feel some people in my office need to take lessons in cooperation or rather how to speak to others without sounding like its a bloody order, or probably i need to take a lesson on learning how not to read to much into innocent sentences.
It started in the bloody morning and i knew it would be a long day , and well cant really say that as the day comes to an end i have found repreive. its still the same - part two to come from home.
It started in the bloody morning and i knew it would be a long day , and well cant really say that as the day comes to an end i have found repreive. its still the same - part two to come from home.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)