Random - GOD and all

Its not like i don't believe in god or something its just that i don't feel a need to proclaim it after every two seconds. Well at times i doubt even whether i believe in him, but yes there is something deep inside something that reverts back to this basic entity. This entity who you can have a conversation with at times, whom you can get pissed at and maybe even curse when things go wrong, and probably then pray to for things to be better and finally whom you can thank once things work out. Its good to believe not necessary but yet quite comforting for those who choose to take their solace in it.

Whats really surprising is how there are some places that you can associate with this supreme entity , or your own creation. People in India very strongly believe in placing their gods in temples and tying themselves to these places of worship. For me probably the easiest way to communicate with him is by going on long walks , thats probably because i don't really believe in conventional god, or maybe i do. But basically what i mean to say is i quite like the idea of having these random conversations with him or maybe a part of myself while im on a walk. Though thats not the only place where i have found God , at various periods in my life i have found my god in some conventional places of worship.

There was the Krishna temple in Manipal, it use to be peaceful, thats the only thing i can remember of it, i had my own little ritual that i use to do, Would i have gone there on my own probably not , i was influenced to go there but in the end i do believe that a bit of my god did reside there. It was amazing.

Then there was Tirupati , i mean that idol itself has some magic, of course all the other rituals associated with gaining entry to it is amazingly anal, but yes i think once you reach that idol its all worth it . But honestly i don't see my god there, i can if i want to but i don't think id want it.

There is this nice small temple at home too , its a nice tempe with open spaces, loads of monkeys , i use to go there quite frequently with my parents when i was young, though again i haven't visited it of my own free will for ages. But yes i could see my god there.

There was a church in Hyderabad , this really nice church , the sermons and hyms were tedious at times but the church was really nice , it was again a place where i could find my god quite easily.

That was a really random post, just thought of it while i read someones profile, its surprising how many people need to proclaim there faith in god in random conversations, in profiles of all things they do , i really don't get it, but i guess today was my day to do the same to you .

Confessions - write maybe i could but rhyme i definitely cant

Its kind of strange how life takes you on weird journeys through nooks and crannies through wanted and unwanted experiences, and yet there is some sort of a lesson involved , some sort of a take back from it all. Sadly enough for me i cant quite remember to save my life what it is that i should have learnt so far.

But anyways this post is not about learnings from life or the lack of it, i was walking to work this morning, i now work for a video production company, or rather we pretend to be one when there is work , other times we are almost anything and everything and mostly absolutely worthless and useless though never without conversation . Hopefully we will get some work in soon , cause otherwise there is no money coming in and ill have to pack my bags and leave and live off my dad, as if i wasn't at present. Im scared at some level to take that step because of its finality , thats my last excuse, my last hope , ill go back to india and get a good job, but what if ?

Well lets skip this too because its not the future that i want to talk about either, not this one maybe an alternate future, maybe just a dream, or maybe just a crazy short lived infatuation , a distraction that i so often suffer from. So i was walking to work a good 20 minute walk on a cold winter morning and a thought struck me , what if i was to write an autobiography of my life so far , where would i begin it from, what could make it interesting , what if it wasn't exactly factual , what if it was , would it be an interesting read, will I be happy to explore those minute contours of my own thought, Im not even sure if it will be interesting enough. Anyways i started piecing it , sectioning it deciding what i will write immediately, i reached work really excited and then i got distracted be existentiality

I believe if written well even bull shit can be made palatable and sometimes even desirable. But then the thought that rises in my head is something that i have read in Ayn Rand The fountainhead , i cant quite remember the exact words , but basically they are made by the chief antagonist Elseworth Toohey and their essence is something like this , his aim is to promote complete crap in the name of art and creativity just so that people loose their judgement of what is good and what is bad. Where art looses its value itself because every shite thats hyped is considered good and talent is not ranked on its merit, well exactly what the x factor is to music today , or the idol shows running back home. And then he goes on to say that he's encouraging this dentist to write his autobiography even though he's had the dullest life ever and there is not even one iota of excitement or moments that could be interesting in his life. I fear i might be falling into that trap, but anyways im certain i want to write.

i have always wanted to be an author, well maybe not always, but i think i did want to be one , i wanted to do english literature after high school , somehow did my bachelors in occupational therapy, and then i just got distracted, till i wrote the book for stinks, it wasn't the best of books it wasn't the most interesting but it was special in its own way.I think if this blog wasnt there i wouldn't have considered this, and maybe its still an idea which will get nipped in its bud, but atleast im thinking of it. Initially i thought this blog could very well be that book , but then i wanna milk it for some money , just write one book but make some money of it, thats the initial dream or i could do a series and make a loot. Well i think i just got carried away with that that too far didn't i . But im an exhibitionist, well mabe an anonymous exhibitionist, i like it when people read this blog , i like it when someone leaves a comment , and id love to see how many people would actually pay money to read me.

But thats that so its out , too many things are being put into the open in recent times but i guess im learning to be a bit more open. I want to be a writer , i don't know if ill be a good one, i don't care if im not , but id like to give it a shot, hopefully i will be able to sustain this dream .


Hey by the way i wrote an intro for this website im working on for the company , its suppose to rhyme it doesn't always anyways here it is , do try to read it in rhyme.


A music video agency in Shoreditch
We love our tea and biscuits
We have grand ambition
In music video, graphics and motion

Music videos & photography is our passion
Pictures culture and fashion
We love to tell a story
With music rhythm and glory

Combining experience with innovation
We delve in artistic creation
Giving work which is in zeitgeist
Hell yeah we are not just good we are the best

Design, branding and picture
Got our juices in the mixture
We also do artist promotion
Let’s get those wheels in motion

Being creative is no crime
Our work is pure sublime
We shout with no hesitation
On budget, on time and beyond expectation


write maybe i could but rhyme i definitely cant (please do consider this was conceptualised over a cup of coffee in under 20 minutes)