SO how does it feel to be back again, into this twisted mind of mine. Well things havnt changed as i said before, and yet things arnt stagnant either, sometimes i wonder if im just going round in circles, am I? and yet there seems some direction to destiny . Maybe its just that i dont know what im headed for as of now. Well i guess ill wait.
It feels real strange when the only thing that you look forward to is to type your thoughts down in a blog, and yet when the right time comes you suddenly go blank . Well iv waited before i had something to say to you , i think i might have waited too long , for theres nothing in my head , yet my fingers dont heed to the lack of Ideas , they are their own masters right now.
I reread what i have typed and then i wonder was that worth the effort , of long hours at work just to sit down in front of this marvelous creation of man called the computer. Its the best way to communicate they say, and yet it's the main cos for disruption of social ties. Strange huh i wonder how many fools there are sitting in front of their computers looking for new friends and mates, and finally finding solace in some feigner, completely niglecting their environment , where perhaps their true friend or love lurks.
Opportunity knocks once they say and will it be lost, while i sit here and type this shit, well to tell you the truth i dont bloody care no longer. Iv become indifferent with the passage of months and of days which seem like eternity and yet which somehow in retrospect have passed to quickly for me to grasp. Sometimes a question arises in me what have i learnt from the past and , i really cant answer if what all i learnt wasnt within me already .
Well i think, at present im influenced by a stupid book , in fact two of them that iv read recently, one of them is called Illusions by Richard Bach ( whom i consider an incompetent author , of self deluding ideas) and the second one is Siddhartha by Herman Hess ( whom if u care to know i consider to be one of the best authors ever, and yet this creation of his according to me was really substandard). Well thats my opinion of it.
Oh sorry got side tracked a bit , ya to get back to the book Richard says that all we have to learn is within us since we exist forever, knowledge learned and carried forward from past lives, he says we are all potential Messihas, capable of producing a miracle any time cos after all the world that we live in is completely an illusion. And multiple space and time exists for all. I mean cmon man that sounds like a spiritual book suddenly turned scifi,. I guess it would be a real big Picker upper book for those tho are Psychotically depressed or challenged. Well no wonder i finished the book quick .
Well the other book by Mr. Hess, is on a different level all togeather, it says that we have all the answers hidden within us, and we cannot learn from anyone, we have to take our sips of bitter and sweet in life till we are completely engulfd in them to be able to learn from them. Well i do agree with his point but strangely enough to me there seems to be a connection somewhere between the two theories. Cos we choose our bitters and our sweets and not really destiny, which ibn a way means we choose what happens to us which kinda links to we are messihas all of us and we can choose to be whatever we wanna be and all of that.
Well though the subject wasnt delt with in a good way in either books i still find it fascinating. Cos i think in the end i do vasccilate around the same theme. The theme of selfishness, of the ego , of the me and I. Everything i Do I do it for me, unlike Bryan Adams. And think of it i was once a part of this big Social institute where everyone said We, us our , their upliftment , i guess u got the idea, though i never did that course , yet even if i had done itr im pretty sure it would have been for me and not for them . I guess the best social workers are those who do things for themselves rather than for others, i mean for their satisfaction, for their growth and for their own happiness.
Enough before i get my ass into any trouble ill sign off adios amigos
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