I feel hurt and well i think i deservrd it a quick bite out of me to bring my ego to its orignal size, which well i agree is still a bit big. I cant help that one thats the way i was born and well couldnt have been any other way i think. Or rather id not have it any other way atleast.
Its a good feeling this feeling of pain , truly speaking no anger is attached with it. Its more pain then anything else. Its fresh, new and well kinda refreshing cos it was not expected, atleast not from the quarters it came from. Oh yea i had a similar experience a few days before but that was a sad one cos it tainted just not a single person but rather the whole concept of friendship. But then it was expected and it wwas not that major. Maybe this is not that major ieither but yes it does sting.
I think its quite important cos it wakes you up and demands of you to reassess where you stand now. Not where you stood in the past nor where u will stand in the future just where u stand at present.
It brings back this awareness of oneself of existence of life of everything thet is involved in it. The most important of them friendship.
Today i take a decision once again maybe this is the only place where i can confess without any inhibitions, i have lost my faith in friendship, in love maybe to some extent in my family ( I think thats a carry forward from the bile that fills me today, pure evil , pure resentment pure dislike).
I think i need to be the most selfish if i have to survive, i think im already that and more.
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