Things that make me smile

"Our laughs and our cries
the restaurants we liked
the bus no 6 journies
and fights in the moonlight.

Smiles and hugs in the morning
the jives in the break
dozing in financial management
and the passing of chits.

Mathani’s extra lectures
collection of notes
photocopying and printing
of which we never seemed to see the end off!

The basketball and badminton
walks to the bhurji shop behind.
cigarettes and alcohol
and the dh disco nights.

Trains and rickshaws
salwars and saris
field work and bomb scares
and report writing sprees.

Our talks and our walks
our building castles in the air
our laughs, fights and cries
the bonds that hold us together

all our tiss memories
of our once upon a time life.


This is dedicated to people I miss from tiss....people I've come to call close friends...... people who are close to my heart.........people from whom I've learnt.........people I've shared so many memories with that will always remain etched in my mind and these are Shashwat, Keren, Neeti, Pinky, Natasha, Khalid, Vanessa, Tanvi, Mandira, Neha, Laxmi, Arpana, Vrinda."

This was written by a friend , a pretty close friend as insane as me if not more . It made me smile first then maybe a bit numb . I miss that for sure but we have moved on, the memmories remain ofcourse and they will till we turn to dust. This is to those memmories that i cherish , those moments which can always make me smile.



Thank you

I write once again

Yes I write once again, it seems after eternity , maybe not, I got a bloody net connection at home and well I thought id be flowing . Its not happened.

Actually im discontent , with life, with friends and well the only thing which keeps me alive is the work. And I wonder how long that’s gonna last. It’s happened before I mean the discontent.

I wonder if that’s the story of every one else too . But then how does it matter. All im concerned bout is me and somehow I cant find a solution, maybe I looked too hard maybe I didn’t search enough.

People say I have become blunt, I think I have too, but to tell you the truth I don’t even remember what I was like.

Soul searching, when does one search for his soul for his faith , well if I go by Maslows Hierarchy it would be a long time away. But then I think im looking for something, im looking for my faith, my belief my Love.

Does it really work like that, can such a thing be generalised into such simple steps a stupid pyramid.

Thoughts come to me like butterflies and all I do is push them away, I don’t really want to face it anymore I don’t want to think, where the peace is. I wish I was dead for a bit, I mean un alive, unresponsive non thinking everything shut down just for a bit.

Please note im not searching for the truth I know where it is I just want some time to find it , and I know that my responsibilities don’t allow me to be where I want to be to do what I want to do.

Shit man spilled some beer, do u have some answers, if you have keep them to yourself cos I think I need to search my own answers. Proud as ever you know me.

Its interesting you know I was almost broken, well I survived. I think I did , but then the scars remain and yes it does hurt once in a while its hurting today. The numbness turns to pain and for the first time I feel alive.

Shes back and i live again

Ohh man this is exciting if nothing else, she has returned she was here , a glimpse, a peek, a scent , and its spinnin me inside out didnt know that would still happen didnt know that could still happen.

Happy Bhirthday

Happy Birthday my love I know its been a long time , and i know its late , but then i thought i could do without wishing you, I guess somethings are just not meant to be like me not wishing you.


I seem to have managed to block you for quite some time, in thought in action in everything . I guess deep inside i realise that even this struggle with my self to block you is in a way a reminder of you. I think i dont mind it , in fact i would say i do love it.

So heres to you wish you all that you want all that you need all that you desire.