Yes I write once again, it seems after eternity , maybe not, I got a bloody net connection at home and well I thought id be flowing . Its not happened.
Actually im discontent , with life, with friends and well the only thing which keeps me alive is the work. And I wonder how long that’s gonna last. It’s happened before I mean the discontent.
I wonder if that’s the story of every one else too . But then how does it matter. All im concerned bout is me and somehow I cant find a solution, maybe I looked too hard maybe I didn’t search enough.
People say I have become blunt, I think I have too, but to tell you the truth I don’t even remember what I was like.
Soul searching, when does one search for his soul for his faith , well if I go by Maslows Hierarchy it would be a long time away. But then I think im looking for something, im looking for my faith, my belief my Love.
Does it really work like that, can such a thing be generalised into such simple steps a stupid pyramid.
Thoughts come to me like butterflies and all I do is push them away, I don’t really want to face it anymore I don’t want to think, where the peace is. I wish I was dead for a bit, I mean un alive, unresponsive non thinking everything shut down just for a bit.
Please note im not searching for the truth I know where it is I just want some time to find it , and I know that my responsibilities don’t allow me to be where I want to be to do what I want to do.
Shit man spilled some beer, do u have some answers, if you have keep them to yourself cos I think I need to search my own answers. Proud as ever you know me.
Its interesting you know I was almost broken, well I survived. I think I did , but then the scars remain and yes it does hurt once in a while its hurting today. The numbness turns to pain and for the first time I feel alive.
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