Hello here I am again, for a person who writes content for most of his hospitals articles and press releases and gives briefs to Advt agencies I really write disjointedly on this blog, don't you think so?
To begin a new chapter I will try to be more careful in the construction of my posts from hence onwards
I have had a rush , in the past 48 hours , Whats a rush and how does it happen you might ask. Well i get mine through a few things in life ,
1) The chase - most important of them all i guess. Its when I am opposite an attractive woman, or atleast a fashionable one , who's conversation is intellectually stimulating and interspersed with these exchanges which take place completely non verbally. There is this sudden increase in pulse rate , a certain confidence in each word , and an underlying stream of conversation through the body, be it a look, or arrangement of hair, at that very moment that woman becomes the most desirable person on this earth. Maybe you could call it simple flirting, but if its the right kind of person i think you will understand. So it does not matter if shes about 10 years older than me , it doesn't matter if shes AVP of a company, all that matters is the internal stream of conversation. So though the bodies talk a different language there is a contrast in the conversation , Either its too professional or slightly spiteful. And of course the rush.
2) Success - The second rush is from success , not measurable , not even materialistic , but rather more on the personal internal challenge sort of way. Its when you complete an assignment, that's difficult to take up on , or something that you probably thought wouldn't work out works out in a very agreeable manner. So it doesn't matter if its an Interview that you take to see if you have it in you, it doesn't matter if its in the real estate space though you are from Health care, it doesn't matter if your not even sure that you would take up the offer if it was offered to you, and even if you almost forget to breath and hyperventilate at the initial phase of the interview. The only thing that matters is that you smashed it , and you saw the woman in front of you almost orgasmic over the thought of having you in her team, its the smile and the eager handshake which follows it and man do you have a rush or what.
3) When you trip - this rush is of a different sort its made up of dreams, hallucinations and the subconscious , its the desire that arises out of the very soul of your heart which takes shape in the form of images and songs and it doesn't really matter if its completely against your very substance. When you do the thing that resides in you somewhere deep down , which you didn't even know existed there , its a rush like youv never felt before. Its the first drag of every cigarette , the last of every joint, the middle of every drinking session, and the beginning of every Acid trip.
So that's it folks the rush is upon me , for how long? It probably will get phased out in a day or too, but yaa atleast I know now that i still can have them.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Strange
The Lights were dim , and he walked in with a glass of water, man this is tougher than i thought. Ok so the last blog kinda sucked but it was written on an impulse and i dont really care.
Todays been a beautifull day I wanted to sleep some more in the morning but had to get up , I wanted it to be sunnier it was cloudy , In office there was work to be done in the morning and i didnt feel like working , there is work still pending and i still dont feel like working , the tea was too sweet and the cigarretes slightly bitter, I wanted to listen to dazed and confused but the song I played was Laila o Laila. I wanted to write this uninterrupted i have been disturbed twice. Theres a feeling that something is going to happen but its not happened yet.
Yet the days better than most days, I guess sometimes we just dont know what we want and we just need life to open up in front of us as it does.
I wanted to write a diffferent post but its this that has shaped up in front of me.
Dazed and confused for so long its not true wanted a woman never bargained for you.
Oh bye the way im having these really strange dreams , there was a woman in them today , there were either these insects or birds which pecked her face while she laid in a hospital bed dressed in white , bits going of her in symmetrical patterns, there was no blood but like pock marks , but she looked peautiful, the thought scared me a bit . but then i knew she was not feeling pain , and then i awoke.
Todays been a beautifull day I wanted to sleep some more in the morning but had to get up , I wanted it to be sunnier it was cloudy , In office there was work to be done in the morning and i didnt feel like working , there is work still pending and i still dont feel like working , the tea was too sweet and the cigarretes slightly bitter, I wanted to listen to dazed and confused but the song I played was Laila o Laila. I wanted to write this uninterrupted i have been disturbed twice. Theres a feeling that something is going to happen but its not happened yet.
Yet the days better than most days, I guess sometimes we just dont know what we want and we just need life to open up in front of us as it does.
I wanted to write a diffferent post but its this that has shaped up in front of me.
Dazed and confused for so long its not true wanted a woman never bargained for you.
Oh bye the way im having these really strange dreams , there was a woman in them today , there were either these insects or birds which pecked her face while she laid in a hospital bed dressed in white , bits going of her in symmetrical patterns, there was no blood but like pock marks , but she looked peautiful, the thought scared me a bit . but then i knew she was not feeling pain , and then i awoke.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Beauty vs ugly
Ok so I blog again on Impulse , whats new in that?
Its been an interesting day, with we surfing the net for MBS Melbourne business school. The place sounds fairly interesting and it was one of the sites that i actually read in totality , well almost. But other than that i had two appointments with two big Indian companies Dr. Reddys and 92.7 Big FM , both of which we are targeting to sponsor or Rather partner us in an event. Well the business talk was always exciting specially if the outcomes are positive and in this case atleast one of them was an immediate yes.
But other than that there was this theory that i created, I saw this 'RJ Adonica there , shes built like a doll, very pretty face and quite delicate, now Im not really like into typoing people , but i think i expected her to be something like that, its kind of strange how only the pretty girls have the real pretty voices. By this don't mean the singing voice but rather the talking voice, and man I think that theory might just about hold good. I have to do a bit of practical research on that , I could try it out as a thesis if i end up entering MBS. hehehhe.
Ok another theory , which though not exactly mine but adapted by me somewhere down the line is: In India soon the pretty women might go extinct / or visa versa.
Basically i say there are three type of people through evolution , the good lookers , the ugly ducks and well the Transitioners. Basically since we are moving towards the westernize culture of Love marriages, single parents, divorces and bachelors / Spinsters for life . The markets getting tougher. Competition has increased because of our faith in love, we now believe that we deserve a certain quality and if we don't get it, quite a few of us are willing to try out new products , but not get tied to them and if we are not satisfied than we are willing to remain single.
This is specific to the metropolitans, and people there have evolved to this competition or are in progress, women have gotten prettier, taller, slimmer , better framed etc etc. Men to have evolved similarly and are turning out with much better better. We cant really compare a Kishore Kumar or Devanand or for the matter of fact even Amitab bachan in his younger days to the Saifs, hrithiks and Jhons of today. So basically people are now either good looking or transitioners in the metros, and the only people who might be left behind are the firm believers in Arranged Marriages , who know that in the end they will get hitched . But I think every one in the city needs to wake up to this realisation that the times are changing and slowly they will. So this is the race of the beautiful people.
Now lets come to not so metro cities and tier two and tier three cities, loves happening , but marriage has to be the final culmination , there is no choice of remaining single, or becoming a single parent , completely against the cultural and social values. So we have the transitioners here and the plain old uglies , and this is how it exists, there might be a freshness in the faces but the bodies are disproportionate somewhere.
The villages are places which are not really that affected buy this whole scenario , if it happens to be a village endowed with natural , heritable beauty then so it is. But it does not really matter if you are pretty or not u will get a match.
On the other side men seem to be moving at a faster pace towards this basic improvement in looks and this is basically the competition for them is even more severe as the man to woman ratio of India is high.
Ok so now that w e know why they exist and where they exist lets try to pin a future to it, basically its gonna be existence in the end and if going by norms more and more people choose to remain single i think beauty might just prevail , but ofcourse since procreation is our basic goal and we like to do it under the garb of marriage , that to arranged we will remain ugly . This is really inconclusive , but i havnt really given it much thought , i will try and improve o n this in the near future.
Its been an interesting day, with we surfing the net for MBS Melbourne business school. The place sounds fairly interesting and it was one of the sites that i actually read in totality , well almost. But other than that i had two appointments with two big Indian companies Dr. Reddys and 92.7 Big FM , both of which we are targeting to sponsor or Rather partner us in an event. Well the business talk was always exciting specially if the outcomes are positive and in this case atleast one of them was an immediate yes.
But other than that there was this theory that i created, I saw this 'RJ Adonica there , shes built like a doll, very pretty face and quite delicate, now Im not really like into typoing people , but i think i expected her to be something like that, its kind of strange how only the pretty girls have the real pretty voices. By this don't mean the singing voice but rather the talking voice, and man I think that theory might just about hold good. I have to do a bit of practical research on that , I could try it out as a thesis if i end up entering MBS. hehehhe.
Ok another theory , which though not exactly mine but adapted by me somewhere down the line is: In India soon the pretty women might go extinct / or visa versa.
Basically i say there are three type of people through evolution , the good lookers , the ugly ducks and well the Transitioners. Basically since we are moving towards the westernize culture of Love marriages, single parents, divorces and bachelors / Spinsters for life . The markets getting tougher. Competition has increased because of our faith in love, we now believe that we deserve a certain quality and if we don't get it, quite a few of us are willing to try out new products , but not get tied to them and if we are not satisfied than we are willing to remain single.
This is specific to the metropolitans, and people there have evolved to this competition or are in progress, women have gotten prettier, taller, slimmer , better framed etc etc. Men to have evolved similarly and are turning out with much better better. We cant really compare a Kishore Kumar or Devanand or for the matter of fact even Amitab bachan in his younger days to the Saifs, hrithiks and Jhons of today. So basically people are now either good looking or transitioners in the metros, and the only people who might be left behind are the firm believers in Arranged Marriages , who know that in the end they will get hitched . But I think every one in the city needs to wake up to this realisation that the times are changing and slowly they will. So this is the race of the beautiful people.
Now lets come to not so metro cities and tier two and tier three cities, loves happening , but marriage has to be the final culmination , there is no choice of remaining single, or becoming a single parent , completely against the cultural and social values. So we have the transitioners here and the plain old uglies , and this is how it exists, there might be a freshness in the faces but the bodies are disproportionate somewhere.
The villages are places which are not really that affected buy this whole scenario , if it happens to be a village endowed with natural , heritable beauty then so it is. But it does not really matter if you are pretty or not u will get a match.
On the other side men seem to be moving at a faster pace towards this basic improvement in looks and this is basically the competition for them is even more severe as the man to woman ratio of India is high.
Ok so now that w e know why they exist and where they exist lets try to pin a future to it, basically its gonna be existence in the end and if going by norms more and more people choose to remain single i think beauty might just prevail , but ofcourse since procreation is our basic goal and we like to do it under the garb of marriage , that to arranged we will remain ugly . This is really inconclusive , but i havnt really given it much thought , i will try and improve o n this in the near future.
Saturday, August 09, 2008
Rainy Day Adventure
I suddenly realise how boring and mundane my life has become in a certain way , so while people write about their trips to the jungle and their trips to India and Mushrooms and acid , I sit here and think getting wet in the rain is an adventure.
But it was for me. When over a three Kilometer journey looms in front of you, in a down pour that could shame Niagara falls , every street an amazon river in itself and well it is a jungle out there after all. And so begins the rainy day Adventure.
It was a quite Friday evening, the day had been dark and ominous. I worked in the office as usual , sending mails and daydreaming , and after the daily grunge it was the blog reading time. had come across a very interesting blogger , suited my taste and so i read on , at about 7 it was decided that it was definitely time to go home. But what was not known to me was that the rains had started with a vengeance about 15 minutes ago, so tucking my bag i walked to the gate to realise the deluge which was upon us. There was this crowd gathered all waiting for the rain gods to stop their fury , but nothing changed , so while I stood there looking at this beautiful rain , it dawned upon me that it wont stop. So i walked to the gate to wait for an auto , and in the process got wet.
The night was beautiful , the rain was amazing , so away went my bag back into the dept, and off i went to meet the rain, it was cold it was refreshing , it was like this old light returning to me, and i remembered my lazy rain walks in Manipal, but this was definitely not happening. Too wet in four steps , wow what rain. So i hailed an Auto and as luck would have it he stopped, this mad driver , with adventure on his mind, off we went through wet streets at maddening pace.
Traffic Jam , bloody hell its pouring and the pace of life still doesn't stop, we went into this by street, the roads filled with water , I can see vehicles on the side submerged in water, theres this indica on the side trying to start and its exhaust spewing out water which it has swallowed like a thirsty child, a little too fast. The auto stops, the engine goes off , my heart skips a beat, the adventures just begun. On the way there were people standing on the sides, looking at the rain hailing autos, trying to at least , and i think it would be a good sight with some hot tea and under a good strong roof. The autos luckily run out of petrol and hes carrying a bottle of it, my life springs back to action , and i look out of the auto as he splashes water around on others, his pace is fast cant damn see the road but no , he wont make no compromises on the speed.
We reach this section of the road about a kilometer from my house which is always clogged with water and that too tremendous amounts of it, he refuses to go any further and i cajole him to take another road, the roads clogged and what to do, so I take the brave step of stepping out of Auto onto the Sidewalk, theres a river flowing on the road and im standing at its bank. But then at some point in the future I walk into the water its cold and my shoes are wet , the waters till my ankles now, and then I turn a corner might as well get some food, The waters till my knees now, and i wonder if ill catch some fish too, manholes can be really dangerous and i see a few regurgitating water. its a beautiful wet day im drenched and im cold but there is smile on my face which just cant be wiped out. The water becomes less , and the walk is easier. The guys at the Chinese shop laugh at me looking my pitiable condition and i feel really jolly and at the same time contemplative , the foods prepared fast and the cigarettes are bought and nicely wrapped in a plastic bag to keep them dry.
And I walk home in a drizzle its beautiful, a kid cycles by me and smiles this real heart warming smile and i feel well the whole of Humankind is somehow united in this rain , they are all fighting together to get back home , and it s a journey worth its pleasure.
A warm bath a bottle of wine a good movie my days made and the adventures over .
But it was for me. When over a three Kilometer journey looms in front of you, in a down pour that could shame Niagara falls , every street an amazon river in itself and well it is a jungle out there after all. And so begins the rainy day Adventure.
It was a quite Friday evening, the day had been dark and ominous. I worked in the office as usual , sending mails and daydreaming , and after the daily grunge it was the blog reading time. had come across a very interesting blogger , suited my taste and so i read on , at about 7 it was decided that it was definitely time to go home. But what was not known to me was that the rains had started with a vengeance about 15 minutes ago, so tucking my bag i walked to the gate to realise the deluge which was upon us. There was this crowd gathered all waiting for the rain gods to stop their fury , but nothing changed , so while I stood there looking at this beautiful rain , it dawned upon me that it wont stop. So i walked to the gate to wait for an auto , and in the process got wet.
The night was beautiful , the rain was amazing , so away went my bag back into the dept, and off i went to meet the rain, it was cold it was refreshing , it was like this old light returning to me, and i remembered my lazy rain walks in Manipal, but this was definitely not happening. Too wet in four steps , wow what rain. So i hailed an Auto and as luck would have it he stopped, this mad driver , with adventure on his mind, off we went through wet streets at maddening pace.
Traffic Jam , bloody hell its pouring and the pace of life still doesn't stop, we went into this by street, the roads filled with water , I can see vehicles on the side submerged in water, theres this indica on the side trying to start and its exhaust spewing out water which it has swallowed like a thirsty child, a little too fast. The auto stops, the engine goes off , my heart skips a beat, the adventures just begun. On the way there were people standing on the sides, looking at the rain hailing autos, trying to at least , and i think it would be a good sight with some hot tea and under a good strong roof. The autos luckily run out of petrol and hes carrying a bottle of it, my life springs back to action , and i look out of the auto as he splashes water around on others, his pace is fast cant damn see the road but no , he wont make no compromises on the speed.
We reach this section of the road about a kilometer from my house which is always clogged with water and that too tremendous amounts of it, he refuses to go any further and i cajole him to take another road, the roads clogged and what to do, so I take the brave step of stepping out of Auto onto the Sidewalk, theres a river flowing on the road and im standing at its bank. But then at some point in the future I walk into the water its cold and my shoes are wet , the waters till my ankles now, and then I turn a corner might as well get some food, The waters till my knees now, and i wonder if ill catch some fish too, manholes can be really dangerous and i see a few regurgitating water. its a beautiful wet day im drenched and im cold but there is smile on my face which just cant be wiped out. The water becomes less , and the walk is easier. The guys at the Chinese shop laugh at me looking my pitiable condition and i feel really jolly and at the same time contemplative , the foods prepared fast and the cigarettes are bought and nicely wrapped in a plastic bag to keep them dry.
And I walk home in a drizzle its beautiful, a kid cycles by me and smiles this real heart warming smile and i feel well the whole of Humankind is somehow united in this rain , they are all fighting together to get back home , and it s a journey worth its pleasure.
A warm bath a bottle of wine a good movie my days made and the adventures over .
Saturday, August 02, 2008
Just a day
Its a cozy Saturday afternoon , the work loads dwindelled now , I have finished my PPT on breast feeding , and according to the doctor I have covored the major parts of it pretty well, i added a few cartoons too, but trying not to be too lewd , I like this doctor shes a really shy gynacologist, i really wonder at times how she talks family planning with the fathers.
In other news , the sense of uselessness , still continues, but its less active today , The morning was beautifull, just got up at 5 minutes to eight so that it gave me the 5 minutes required to heat me a cup of coffee before the power went. The coffee was nice and strong , the aroma was amaizing and that mixed with the nights rain effervesing from the earths surface . The sun was bright and i stood at my balcony looking out , while the owners lunatic son paraded around below , oblivious to me and me to him. And i wondered how the day would be .
The bath was refreshing after a real long time and the water just the right natural temprature, there was just enought time to dreaa and just the right kind of traffic opn the way to work. I had my breakfast i think reading my daily horoscope on rediff , now though i quite forget what it said.
Saw a grand movie last night , love song for Bobby Long, that jhon Travolta is amaizing , i mean he can look good even with white hair, a limp and a bit of a paunch, drunk and waisted. Cant say its a great movie or unpredictable , but it is quite interesting in its slow paced manner. And I really felt happy about having watched it.
Last night was a restless night i faught some work problems i nthe night in my head as to what action neede to be taken for a vendor to work , but cant quite say if I have figured it out yet, but it does make my blood boil. And on top of it the advance payment of some 25 odd thousands is with him. so I wonederwhere it will end. Big business somethimes feel so vulnerable because the small time business men they rely on can destroy them and well vice versa I guess. Every one is living in a fear of the other, i think Im begining to not give a shit and i like it this way.
Ok Adios for now till we write again
In other news , the sense of uselessness , still continues, but its less active today , The morning was beautifull, just got up at 5 minutes to eight so that it gave me the 5 minutes required to heat me a cup of coffee before the power went. The coffee was nice and strong , the aroma was amaizing and that mixed with the nights rain effervesing from the earths surface . The sun was bright and i stood at my balcony looking out , while the owners lunatic son paraded around below , oblivious to me and me to him. And i wondered how the day would be .
The bath was refreshing after a real long time and the water just the right natural temprature, there was just enought time to dreaa and just the right kind of traffic opn the way to work. I had my breakfast i think reading my daily horoscope on rediff , now though i quite forget what it said.
Saw a grand movie last night , love song for Bobby Long, that jhon Travolta is amaizing , i mean he can look good even with white hair, a limp and a bit of a paunch, drunk and waisted. Cant say its a great movie or unpredictable , but it is quite interesting in its slow paced manner. And I really felt happy about having watched it.
Last night was a restless night i faught some work problems i nthe night in my head as to what action neede to be taken for a vendor to work , but cant quite say if I have figured it out yet, but it does make my blood boil. And on top of it the advance payment of some 25 odd thousands is with him. so I wonederwhere it will end. Big business somethimes feel so vulnerable because the small time business men they rely on can destroy them and well vice versa I guess. Every one is living in a fear of the other, i think Im begining to not give a shit and i like it this way.
Ok Adios for now till we write again
Friday, August 01, 2008
It been a shitty day
Ok so heres another one , i think im sick , maybe feverish , or maybe just mentally exhausted, every day im fighting a new demon within my head, maybe its just the latent lunatic gene thats becoming dominant. Today was the fight for supremacy , the fight to be liked by the right people , the fight to go completely out of character and then suddenly realising how naked you are to hurt.
It started of soberly , with the little bit of work which needed to be finished being finished, but i cant say how far i went cos somewhere in the middle i lost interest. The boss gives a definative task , and i gotta make people do it , there seems to be a power struggle and infact i think i can see where its coming from, i have been driving some people too hard i n the recent past and its hurting me as well as them .
But I canrt really help it because im embibibg it into me this diciplarian character, the boss is having fun while i play the taurant officer he gets tgo be the good cop , and there is a exchange of power.
Games in the office oh so tiering , on a day like today i suddenly realise that does it really matter , if we are running a shabby ship , and then i fee it does , but when did i become like this who has to think about things like this. There is no absolute future , i agree to that, but i seem to have lost myself to this drudgery , i love the days i love my job , but ill tell you a truth the last few days have been complete evil, and now i envy those who enjoy what they do. I think i wasnt made for this.
Well i think im just being quite melodramatic here, in actuality iv become quite a bit if a drama queen now. ( laughs at self and imagines self in a queenly dress) woah , thats scary. Ok so coming back to it , Its basically a little scary to realize i nthe midst of it all as to where im heading, I guess you could kind of call it a mild attack of midlife crisis. But you know what im glad that there is still something in me which really wants to fight it.
And of course o ntop of that Neets just left me a really good comment , and im quite happy now, I thin you just made my day turn around.
It started of soberly , with the little bit of work which needed to be finished being finished, but i cant say how far i went cos somewhere in the middle i lost interest. The boss gives a definative task , and i gotta make people do it , there seems to be a power struggle and infact i think i can see where its coming from, i have been driving some people too hard i n the recent past and its hurting me as well as them .
But I canrt really help it because im embibibg it into me this diciplarian character, the boss is having fun while i play the taurant officer he gets tgo be the good cop , and there is a exchange of power.
Games in the office oh so tiering , on a day like today i suddenly realise that does it really matter , if we are running a shabby ship , and then i fee it does , but when did i become like this who has to think about things like this. There is no absolute future , i agree to that, but i seem to have lost myself to this drudgery , i love the days i love my job , but ill tell you a truth the last few days have been complete evil, and now i envy those who enjoy what they do. I think i wasnt made for this.
Well i think im just being quite melodramatic here, in actuality iv become quite a bit if a drama queen now. ( laughs at self and imagines self in a queenly dress) woah , thats scary. Ok so coming back to it , Its basically a little scary to realize i nthe midst of it all as to where im heading, I guess you could kind of call it a mild attack of midlife crisis. But you know what im glad that there is still something in me which really wants to fight it.
And of course o ntop of that Neets just left me a really good comment , and im quite happy now, I thin you just made my day turn around.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)