It been a shitty day

Ok so heres another one , i think im sick , maybe feverish , or maybe just mentally exhausted, every day im fighting a new demon within my head, maybe its just the latent lunatic gene thats becoming dominant. Today was the fight for supremacy , the fight to be liked by the right people , the fight to go completely out of character and then suddenly realising how naked you are to hurt.

It started of soberly , with the little bit of work which needed to be finished being finished, but i cant say how far i went cos somewhere in the middle i lost interest. The boss gives a definative task , and i gotta make people do it , there seems to be a power struggle and infact i think i can see where its coming from, i have been driving some people too hard i n the recent past and its hurting me as well as them .
But I canrt really help it because im embibibg it into me this diciplarian character, the boss is having fun while i play the taurant officer he gets tgo be the good cop , and there is a exchange of power.

Games in the office oh so tiering , on a day like today i suddenly realise that does it really matter , if we are running a shabby ship , and then i fee it does , but when did i become like this who has to think about things like this. There is no absolute future , i agree to that, but i seem to have lost myself to this drudgery , i love the days i love my job , but ill tell you a truth the last few days have been complete evil, and now i envy those who enjoy what they do. I think i wasnt made for this.

Well i think im just being quite melodramatic here, in actuality iv become quite a bit if a drama queen now. ( laughs at self and imagines self in a queenly dress) woah , thats scary. Ok so coming back to it , Its basically a little scary to realize i nthe midst of it all as to where im heading, I guess you could kind of call it a mild attack of midlife crisis. But you know what im glad that there is still something in me which really wants to fight it.

And of course o ntop of that Neets just left me a really good comment , and im quite happy now, I thin you just made my day turn around.