This is going to be a quick post and this is to lives that we keep on hold at times to accommodate for lives that we live. Its strange how much change an individual can undergo. The gambler throws his dice for the last time and lives a risk free life. The angry bullish teen of yesteryears who'd throw a fist at the drop of a hat now learns the calm of a monk . Well may be not that perfect the anger still exists somewhere hidden inside.
What I mean is that can one individual change so much for what ever reason it may be, I take pride in what i am and who i am , yet am i willing to change if its required of me.I might be wrong but I think it takes courage to be that man, i think its easier to stay true to your character, its easier to remain firm, but its really difficult to care enough for someone or something to make that change. It takes courage to walk on unfamiliar grounds, to leave routine responses and to be the man/ woman thats required.
I have met people who have made changes to their very being for moments of time , so altered they are that as friends you need to search for newer common grounds of comfort. But is it a permanent change or repression.Are there certain traits that just cant be changed, do we sometimes live a lie just so the the status quo is not altered and do we believe in that lie with enough conviction so as to fool even our conscious. Are certain ways of being etched in our systems from birth or maybe through our early learning which can just be repressed , or maybe forgotten for some moments of time,
Change for me has always been a forced entity , a response to survive or to run away from boredom, however i think i see patterns of progression and regression along this path of change , and then i wonder is it regression to instinctual ways of being or do i progress to them. And then it makes me further question what was the real me the one that existed in the moment before the change or the one thats post it because the changes themselves seem quite repetitive. So while i keep one life on hold to create another one i wonder which life is real,
Thats a sure mess isn't it , well think about it and if you have some answers do let me know
2 comments:
They're all real. We always strive for something we think we want, or have always dreamed of. It's a constant effort to try and improve what we have and change is good - well most of it is. what i realised is that the more you struggle with change, the more anger/discomfort you create for yourself. I for one am living a life I absolutely never dreamed of and though at some level that makes me wonder what path I'm on - in the here and now I am willing to give it my all because I'm probably living something I never thought possible :)
Dear K , they might all be real in a parallel universe sort of way , but for every yes that i have said , there is also a no to everything that i leave behind. I guess cant really have regrets about that but its just the understanding of how it all fits in "what path im on " that troubles me from time to time, and more importantly what path do i want to be on. But you know what its always nice to get a reply to know that you r not the only one, thanks for that .So heres To lives we never thought possible.
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