Been buisy with what

At times its quite difficult to understand let alone explain whats keeping me buisy nowadays. This entire phase of non-directional restlessness, of purposeless existence.

Just to give you some perspective, Its been almost 5 months now since i left my last job. Initially it was nice to be free once again to be able to spend time with family, and then there was no serious commitment as i was anyways planning to come back to India.Now its been almost three months that i have been in India and well just over two months that i have been actively seeking a job , and well nothing really seems to be happening, its a bit frustrating i must say . I guess thats the gripe of the unemployed anywhere. But knowing that other people might be going through a similar phase isn't really comforting.

Well thats that But whats even weirder is that even though i am actively not involved in any productive activity, however its really difficult to make time for things other than those which currently occupy my time. For example making adequate number of applications, or posting on this blog or actively compiling my thoughts so that maybe someday i could actually author some sort of literary blunder. I dont freaking have the time.

So now you might ask what exactly are u into nowadays , well honestly not much, i jog , i like to go for a walk, i watch a little bit of television, and well i read a bit and lastly i sleep and yeah i eat. So now you might ask what the fuck is it that prevents you from doing anything else or balancing this stupid schedule out, specially now that you have the full 24 hrs to do all. Even if i spent equal time on all these activities i still could manage an even spread of 4 hrs each. And no im not on dope so i dont bloody eat for 4 hrs yet.

Its difficult to explain but there is something almost ritualistic in the way i exist currently. However there was recently a break in this existence as Stinks managed to somehow make her way all the way up to Simla. That was fun its nice meeting friends after ages, a bit awkward initially specially if you are seeing them at fucking 5 in the morning, and specially since stinks no longer has short hair but rather long dreadlocks which made me call her stinkie baba and well made it difficult initially to relate to her. Strange how things effect you, but then as time passed it was fun. Cant really say it was the same as it once was the context wasn't quite right there wasn't a karan or neeti, or anoopie or a serra around and probably the way we think behave and react has changed a bit over time. But it was still nice having a beer and grabbing a smoke over a conversation or sometimes even silence at the misty rooftops of simla, or being trapped in a stupid rain shelter with some school kids. It was a nice break though honestly i think i couldnt have taken too much more of it. Its difficult for me to exist without this personal space and its almost impossible to create one when your friends down alone specially to meet you. Delhi was so much more fun to meet-up for a bit, though the evening ultimately died and the stupid Yeti Thali was impossible to consume, but none the less the evening was great before it was killed. Delhi was hot sticky and the interview i had gone to give there was shite, and i couldnt meet up with Dr. love or Mrs. Dr. Love, the grub was mostly overrated and yet i pigged out, however somehow meeting up with stinks and her sis made up for most of the things that didnt go my way.

So im back now the routines still not back the job applications continue but not at the pace id like them to progress at , everything else (the jogs, the walk and the non smoking) is still a mess and yet again i find it difficult to find time to gather my thoughts though atleast i have posted on this blog once again.