Confusing aint it , I was reading a book in the morning , well the basic schedule of a lil bit of bathroom reading. And i came across this small bit about visions of paradise and well vitriol in life , I uss quite a few of you mightr have guessed the book if you have read it.
Anyways and it was funny how we keep on waiting for a miracle to happen and we are not really ready for it , i mean the miracles acdtually waiting for us to happen before it h\can happen , and the viciousness continues , we wait it waits and finally there is adisappointment.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Yes im sitting in office for the past two odd hours Iv been trying to search the serial number of a CD that i need installed in my system, sadly enough to no avail though , labour lost to well absolutely nothing.
To the ones who have missed me , i was waiting to buy my new Sony Vaio ( New to me atleast). And well yes I have finally bought it. Its soo bloody good looking. Iv bought it some time now though I still post this from my office .
It dawns on me today that we most of us atleast are all wannabees , we always morn the loss of oppertunities that we have lost or which we have allowed to pass away .
In the middle a New colleague joins and old one orients him , and suddenly some where in the middle of that conversation is the regret of not having done an MBA , the pain is so evident and yet the fool will never do it, because he feels himself not capable of doing it, or rather makes the excuse of not doing it.
Its strange how we are always finding new ways of limiting ourselves, never really doing anything that we really want cos we believe we will fail or maybe cause we are simply too lazy. I thuink the first one is the stronger cause.
I guess somewehre in him i saw myself a faint image , self delluding and an escapist , I mean if ones comfortable with it , which again is an excuse. Its really a strange world aint it.
To the ones who have missed me , i was waiting to buy my new Sony Vaio ( New to me atleast). And well yes I have finally bought it. Its soo bloody good looking. Iv bought it some time now though I still post this from my office .
It dawns on me today that we most of us atleast are all wannabees , we always morn the loss of oppertunities that we have lost or which we have allowed to pass away .
In the middle a New colleague joins and old one orients him , and suddenly some where in the middle of that conversation is the regret of not having done an MBA , the pain is so evident and yet the fool will never do it, because he feels himself not capable of doing it, or rather makes the excuse of not doing it.
Its strange how we are always finding new ways of limiting ourselves, never really doing anything that we really want cos we believe we will fail or maybe cause we are simply too lazy. I thuink the first one is the stronger cause.
I guess somewehre in him i saw myself a faint image , self delluding and an escapist , I mean if ones comfortable with it , which again is an excuse. Its really a strange world aint it.
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Im Bored
OK lets put it clearly at the very beginning , this blog entry would most probably end up being a very boring and nonsensical entry as its completely out of boredom that I write and it may be full of whining too.
Nowthat u have been warned lets go. I'm bored to the core today, I'm bored not cause i have nothing to do , but rather I'm in no mood to do it , and coz I'm lazy. I'm suppose to be searching for colleges with vigour and ferocity but rather I'm living this insipid, mundane life , where there's no fire under no ones arse.
My friend , colleague left for Kerela , today , hes left for good , and I'm not certain whether that's good or bad as of yet. Not that he was the most interesting of chaps but he was crazy enough to do things that I felt like doing. hahah .
My conversations with my parents are well changing in character, from nonsensical heeloos they have come to focus on two basic things now. Have u applied, y r u so lazy and yes the most dreaded of them all Marriage. I thought I had matured to this fact that marriage is somewhere on the cards , but now that my moms planning to really start looking , my stomachs kinda turning . Well escape is always better i say .
My other friend is planning to get married somewhere in Nov Dec. The Odessey of the four Bachelors ( One of them a married bachelor) has finally come to an end. our Quartet has turned to a Triad and that too is till Dec after which , baby I'm on my own. Not a very exciting thought , but well its easier to cope with it now.
The fourth dude , from another sphere a different connection plans to leave town in June July . So u can get the picture theres nothing really cheerful left to do . I think ill stop smoking , stop drinking and probably just as well take a Vow of celibacy and turn into a freaking monk.
My friend the stinky Borgoyari as usual has been giving me insane advice, but then that's all i can expect from here. But its fun , i have finished my conversation with her for the day and well the excitements over.
My frigging tele has no cable connection , i took it out before the GMAT Long Long time back , and well I'm too lazy to get the guy to put it again , in addition to that I think the television can have a real dangerous effect on my already non existent Social life. So its bye bye to the telly anyway.
My jobs gotten boring , the team sucks , the managers got no time , and well no balls either. The appraisals gonna suck too i know of it already , and by the way i still haven't worked on my appraisal form. So that's a very happy notion. Plus the insanities of life as it is I have realised that in work atleast i need some direction , created either by me or the boss , sadly enough as of recent days it all seems to be useless and purposeless, yes the occupancies good and the targets well we r a bit below them. But you get the drift theres no more fun. I think that went away three months after i joined . I want to do something daring but i guess i lack the balls too . That's enough bout work .
The good part of life - readings back , bloggings back and well i think maybe u don't but i feel that I'm writing much better all of a sudden. I'm feeling bored but not depressed , in fact I'm feeling quite happy and content somewhere inside of me, though whats causing it is something that i have no clue bout. Oh and another thing i have this very strong intuition that I'm quitting smoking for good tomorrow onwards. Lets see if it works.
OK now I'm bored .
Nowthat u have been warned lets go. I'm bored to the core today, I'm bored not cause i have nothing to do , but rather I'm in no mood to do it , and coz I'm lazy. I'm suppose to be searching for colleges with vigour and ferocity but rather I'm living this insipid, mundane life , where there's no fire under no ones arse.
My friend , colleague left for Kerela , today , hes left for good , and I'm not certain whether that's good or bad as of yet. Not that he was the most interesting of chaps but he was crazy enough to do things that I felt like doing. hahah .
My conversations with my parents are well changing in character, from nonsensical heeloos they have come to focus on two basic things now. Have u applied, y r u so lazy and yes the most dreaded of them all Marriage. I thought I had matured to this fact that marriage is somewhere on the cards , but now that my moms planning to really start looking , my stomachs kinda turning . Well escape is always better i say .
My other friend is planning to get married somewhere in Nov Dec. The Odessey of the four Bachelors ( One of them a married bachelor) has finally come to an end. our Quartet has turned to a Triad and that too is till Dec after which , baby I'm on my own. Not a very exciting thought , but well its easier to cope with it now.
The fourth dude , from another sphere a different connection plans to leave town in June July . So u can get the picture theres nothing really cheerful left to do . I think ill stop smoking , stop drinking and probably just as well take a Vow of celibacy and turn into a freaking monk.
My friend the stinky Borgoyari as usual has been giving me insane advice, but then that's all i can expect from here. But its fun , i have finished my conversation with her for the day and well the excitements over.
My frigging tele has no cable connection , i took it out before the GMAT Long Long time back , and well I'm too lazy to get the guy to put it again , in addition to that I think the television can have a real dangerous effect on my already non existent Social life. So its bye bye to the telly anyway.
My jobs gotten boring , the team sucks , the managers got no time , and well no balls either. The appraisals gonna suck too i know of it already , and by the way i still haven't worked on my appraisal form. So that's a very happy notion. Plus the insanities of life as it is I have realised that in work atleast i need some direction , created either by me or the boss , sadly enough as of recent days it all seems to be useless and purposeless, yes the occupancies good and the targets well we r a bit below them. But you get the drift theres no more fun. I think that went away three months after i joined . I want to do something daring but i guess i lack the balls too . That's enough bout work .
The good part of life - readings back , bloggings back and well i think maybe u don't but i feel that I'm writing much better all of a sudden. I'm feeling bored but not depressed , in fact I'm feeling quite happy and content somewhere inside of me, though whats causing it is something that i have no clue bout. Oh and another thing i have this very strong intuition that I'm quitting smoking for good tomorrow onwards. Lets see if it works.
OK now I'm bored .
Friday, May 02, 2008
The Partys over
Well a little bird flew near my ear and whispered "the drums wont beat any more , the musics gonna stop, the alcohols already running dry , the beats have all died. Roll over today and die cos the partys over honey pie.
Well Gmats over now a week exactly, it came it went , and well i did midocrally well , satisfied, releived id say . The party didnt happen , the feet were tired , the head was heavy, i just went numb . A little bit alcohol to infuse some life into me, and a solitary evening at home, well spent. Spent.
The days that were after was a blurr, alcohol , dancing , friends , birthday , and some more alcohol. It all began with a small car warming party , that stretched into the night, and a bit of the next day .
the Birthday came after , and that too was a bliss. Yes i did get one year older, and no it dosent really bother me. Friends gathered like fistfull of sunshine , insane conversations about place and time , spatio - temporal warp , and may be a time machine somewhere in the midlle. Beautifull drunk women sadly enough just seen . So much more to do in life so many experiences left untouched.
The coffe in the middle , while browsing thru books , the search for a laptop that would be good. The dillies and dallies of life its , the heloows and farewells packed away as if they were luggage, from a journey that ended and a new one begun .
Discoveries of new places heaven and hell. Alcohol to sooth us to make us merry men, the music was blaring it gave me a call , and we danced away till woken from the dream , the awakening a shatter a kick in the spleen .
About love , bout life , bout lust and grief , about nirvana and redemption bout renunciation and ascetism , a movie i watched , it was a beauty it was real . and there we sat by the
river in the dream and it was over , i say goodbye to him , i say goodbye to her , and then its real life , and work to be done .
The partys over the grinds begun , applications , and headaches all seem to be my chums, and writing insane unconnected thoughts , i really wonder where itll end .
To future my dear to escaping.
Well Gmats over now a week exactly, it came it went , and well i did midocrally well , satisfied, releived id say . The party didnt happen , the feet were tired , the head was heavy, i just went numb . A little bit alcohol to infuse some life into me, and a solitary evening at home, well spent. Spent.
The days that were after was a blurr, alcohol , dancing , friends , birthday , and some more alcohol. It all began with a small car warming party , that stretched into the night, and a bit of the next day .
the Birthday came after , and that too was a bliss. Yes i did get one year older, and no it dosent really bother me. Friends gathered like fistfull of sunshine , insane conversations about place and time , spatio - temporal warp , and may be a time machine somewhere in the midlle. Beautifull drunk women sadly enough just seen . So much more to do in life so many experiences left untouched.
The coffe in the middle , while browsing thru books , the search for a laptop that would be good. The dillies and dallies of life its , the heloows and farewells packed away as if they were luggage, from a journey that ended and a new one begun .
Discoveries of new places heaven and hell. Alcohol to sooth us to make us merry men, the music was blaring it gave me a call , and we danced away till woken from the dream , the awakening a shatter a kick in the spleen .
About love , bout life , bout lust and grief , about nirvana and redemption bout renunciation and ascetism , a movie i watched , it was a beauty it was real . and there we sat by the
river in the dream and it was over , i say goodbye to him , i say goodbye to her , and then its real life , and work to be done .
The partys over the grinds begun , applications , and headaches all seem to be my chums, and writing insane unconnected thoughts , i really wonder where itll end .
To future my dear to escaping.
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