Have things really changed that much , where is that desire to write something atrocious, to write something really from the heart, to capture a moment, to frame a desire or to live through a disappointment. I was just reading through my own blog randomly, i do that sometimes when i need to connect with a me from the past to actually notice change or the lack of it.
I do it when i dont enjoy what i have written when i feel that its forced, and usually that either gets me writing better or stops me from writing completely. Either ways it works because the end product is quality. And it prevents a waste of time , yours, mine, ours. Today iv written and saved two posts before i write this one.
The stories that i told once were all lies id like to say that , but honestly they were all true, i have lived an excitingly boring life just like you , iv breathed in the same air had similar desires and achieved similar feats of mediocrity. Some of my desires did come through some never saw the light of the day and then there were others which took a breath and died. But thats the circle of life isnt it.
I can feel the restlessness i felt at times before , maybe it was just the youth, maybe it was something else but i tend to react differently now. I wont say im old id say im wiser . But i still have a long way to go. The things that affected me then still remain its just my reactions to them have changed. I recently came across something id come across before , its called the 90 / 10 principle , which is basically motivational crap but interesting. It says that you are not in control over 90 % of the things that happen to you , however you are in control of how you react to them. A younger me would just not agree to the loss of control and yet in every post i read i feel thats exactly what i was fighting. Thats exactly what i complained about , i complain less now.
Its weird how i use to make such mountains out of molehills. I mean every failure , every disappointment every little obstacle seemed so big, it seemed soul crushing. Yet i did survive through them, retrospectively thinking i did sit for the GMAT that i had missed because of a missing passport, did go abroad to Europe , did see different cultures and did study. I still haven't found love but my search for it has taken a back seat somewhat (and honestly that is a bit disappointing , but it doesnt really drive me to madness, maybe the spark will ignite again), and im a little less unfit, the smoking continues, but alcohols out of my life currently (Gujrat will tend to do that , god every post has a beer mentioned in it what was i doing) (giving you some context was reading some of the posts from 2007). But yes basically lifes changed a bit and remained stagnant at the same time, some of those desires still live but then the way i behave and react to them has changed.
Basically Life is good i get to meet keren on alternate weekends , well its comfortable and the conversations might be different but the tone is the same and the familiarity is wonderfull. The new roomies are ok , i have been quick to jump the gun on being judgemental and find it difficult to handle one mate, but i think ill work on that.
But the biggest achievement is that im back at this and the sparks been ignited yet once again, the rivers of consciousness runs deep, the voice within me is rising wanting to speak, i hush it no more and train it to get louder for it has a duty to me yet left incomplete.
I do it when i dont enjoy what i have written when i feel that its forced, and usually that either gets me writing better or stops me from writing completely. Either ways it works because the end product is quality. And it prevents a waste of time , yours, mine, ours. Today iv written and saved two posts before i write this one.
The stories that i told once were all lies id like to say that , but honestly they were all true, i have lived an excitingly boring life just like you , iv breathed in the same air had similar desires and achieved similar feats of mediocrity. Some of my desires did come through some never saw the light of the day and then there were others which took a breath and died. But thats the circle of life isnt it.
I can feel the restlessness i felt at times before , maybe it was just the youth, maybe it was something else but i tend to react differently now. I wont say im old id say im wiser . But i still have a long way to go. The things that affected me then still remain its just my reactions to them have changed. I recently came across something id come across before , its called the 90 / 10 principle , which is basically motivational crap but interesting. It says that you are not in control over 90 % of the things that happen to you , however you are in control of how you react to them. A younger me would just not agree to the loss of control and yet in every post i read i feel thats exactly what i was fighting. Thats exactly what i complained about , i complain less now.
Its weird how i use to make such mountains out of molehills. I mean every failure , every disappointment every little obstacle seemed so big, it seemed soul crushing. Yet i did survive through them, retrospectively thinking i did sit for the GMAT that i had missed because of a missing passport, did go abroad to Europe , did see different cultures and did study. I still haven't found love but my search for it has taken a back seat somewhat (and honestly that is a bit disappointing , but it doesnt really drive me to madness, maybe the spark will ignite again), and im a little less unfit, the smoking continues, but alcohols out of my life currently (Gujrat will tend to do that , god every post has a beer mentioned in it what was i doing) (giving you some context was reading some of the posts from 2007). But yes basically lifes changed a bit and remained stagnant at the same time, some of those desires still live but then the way i behave and react to them has changed.
Basically Life is good i get to meet keren on alternate weekends , well its comfortable and the conversations might be different but the tone is the same and the familiarity is wonderfull. The new roomies are ok , i have been quick to jump the gun on being judgemental and find it difficult to handle one mate, but i think ill work on that.
But the biggest achievement is that im back at this and the sparks been ignited yet once again, the rivers of consciousness runs deep, the voice within me is rising wanting to speak, i hush it no more and train it to get louder for it has a duty to me yet left incomplete.
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