Finally I have found peace, peace with myself , yes there are moments that life seems to be tumbling a bit to fast , but yet there are other times when everything around me is at peace everything is in harmony with itself.
Harmony
Harmony what a strange word normally we associate it with music or celestial harmony, that’s what we search for is it not. Where everything you do is in harmony with life itself, with everything around you. There is no discord at present just this sense that soon there will be discord and everything will break, but there is a equal chance that the harmony persists. The harmony is more important to me, I don’t want to fret or worry about when discord comes as I feel that fretting would cause me loss of this harmony much before the event actually occurs.
Attitude
That’s another thing I am developing in myself over these few years a very positive outlook. Sometimes I wonder if the bubble ever bursts what would happen would it break me the way it broke me before. Well I feel like the phoenix at present arising again from ashes to stay here forever.
Work
Work is strange at times and yet there are other times when works really my own, I mean the ownership is intense. Well it doesn’t seem strange to tell you the truth, I have come to the conclusion that probably being in a stagnant frame of mind, or rather state of emotion would be strange, the things that I love I do hate at times. Probably that’s me, and work is one of those aspects that I do love and hate at the same time. The sense of responsibility I feel towards my profession is overburdening at times and at times its just a part of me, so natural that I cant help it, Its just me.
Solitude
Well I have come to another conclusion in my life solitude at times is a killer and at others it’s a healer. At present its both, which again is strange but you know what its in harmony with me, reminds me of those days in Mumbai when I was in extreme peace with myself loving my solitude and at times running away from it into crowds of known people and at others running to unknown crowds just to intensify that feeling of solitude, it is beautiful.
Relationships
Yes this is a part that I love its about friends and kin, kin is a strange word a word gone out of use now though I think, but its such a beautiful word, my kin sounds good doesn’t it, sounds kind of like my kingdom, my people. Well most of my people are away from me and I am distancing myself from all of them, the truth is they are my people the people that ill carry somewhere inside of me throughout my life. My friends, my healers, my company, my companions, my joy. Its kind of strange that you at times take your kin for granted. Well this is just to let them know that they are all special to me somewhere which I might not express but they are all important to me, they are my beautiful past, they are my beautiful present and they will be my future too. They are me and I them. They are the ones that i would turn to when im happy , they are the ones id turn to when im sad they are the people who will always remain. I am there for you and you there for me and I know it.
Love
In what ways do I tell you how I love you, what ever I say would not be enough whatever I do would not be enough.
Love well its one of those things which actually ends up messing your life completely, complete chaos, completely irrational, yet the most agreeable, harmonious state to be in. What says you khalid bhai. Well I will take opinion from my friends who have felt it and whom I know feel it still and would feel it till eternity. That is true love rest all is infatuation that we pass through in our lives I have gone through a lot of things thinking them to be love, believing it so much that I actually wanted to make it love. Well love is something, which will not let you sleep, and yet it would give you the most vivid, beautiful dreamz ever. These are things that im learning as I pass through life. New experiences new thoughts, new feelings where were all of these for the past 26 years of my life. Everything at present seems to be quite pure and quite natural. I guess even lust seems such a pure thing when you are actually in love Its an intense hunger that you want never to end, It’s a hunger which feeds you, but it never gets satiated.
God
Well this one is a slightly controversial issue, my apologies to those whom I offend, just take it as a different point of view, Its how I see him/ her not how I want others to see. (I don’t really know whether he’s/she’s a he or a she, but for convenience I will use he.
Well he’s there for sure, looking thinking, messing up our lives at times and solving things for us at others. Its like this, he does test you but with every test he gives you he gives a learning, that you are suppose to take in by the end of it. He wants us to become like him, after all we are made in his image. He wants us to become all knowing, unfazed by all that happens around us. Its our failure entirely if we cant be like him , he’s trying, imagine his dismay when u loose faith because you think he’s being a bit to rough, well gods a difficult issue.
Well for one he is me and I him, its just that I don’t know it yet, its unconscious, I will find him one day till then all I have to do is just believe and then one day smack I will be enlightened and I will be a part of him. Well I wait when that happens I think it might be quite nice, till that time I will live my life with all its joys and problems’, knowing everything has a reason behind it. It’s his little game one day it will be mine too and then ill enjoy every bit of it; there will be no delusions and no illusions just joy.
Well I think ill end this one here other wise it will take u guys ages to read it and then u would know me a little bit more, So adios amigos enjoy and do let me know what’s your version of the above. What have you learnt?
No comments:
Post a Comment