Reminiscence

It’s been over an year now, yet for some strange reason I come back to her personal space yet again and again, searching for what? Maybe a hope that has long died, maybe just some news on what’s happening in life, maybe a glimpse of something that I knew.


It was a quick period, filled with passion. They were dangerous times, life and death, morality, individuality, Career, Religion everything at stake, yet I took the chance and fell flat on my face.


Its really strange at some level how I can think about it with such clarity and such detachment now. The pleas no longer resound in this body, the way they use to an year ago. Iv made my peace with lord, stopped being angry and accepted fait as it came. Iv moved on to this new emptiness, which though dark is yet comforting. Iv come a long way.


Emotions are a disaster most of the times and yet time after time we let them control us. New resolutions made now, new direction adopted, new hopes dreamt off and still the past lives in us. It’s never a clean slate is it? That whiff of air, that twinkle of an eye, that perfumed breath, the luscious body on a stranger in the balcony, on the road, in your head all of it brings it back suddenly. A glorious Sunrise , a dance move, a jog in the park . hahaha


The point here is not the Present but the glorious past, it’s kind of strange how it brings joy to me now, not the notion of not having, but the notion of having had. That’s the brilliance of it all. So here I take a cigarette break to break the monotony of Daily toil. A cup of coffee, a bit of sunshine and reminiscence brings it back again , those days of Passion , those days of joy, those days of having lived dangerously.


Would I live them again yes I would, a million times and more , to reminiscent yet once again of what I was before.

Merry Christmas everyone